The Magic Whack

Monday, September 14, 2009

Instant Radio from what I think...

I've just been emailed details of a new product from a company I've never heard of.

It's called "Instant Radio" and it has to be one of the worst magical ideas I've ever heard of. You can go read their bold claims for yourself but here is my description of the effect:

The magician has someone draw a radio on a business card, they now hear a radio playing and think "wow he has got a small radio hidden in his pocket".


The magician takes any object and makes it look like it is playing music like a radio. The audience are amused at how he is able to secretly control a small radio that is hidden on his person.

No matter how you look at it - that is exactly what will happen. This is much like floating tricks that use thread where magicians fool themselves into thinking the audience is amazed and impressed at the magic when really they are just thinking "wow I can't see the thread" - it isn't magic.

When the method is the effect it isn't a trick. The only people this will fool is some magicians who will part with their hard earned wonga because they think having a really small radio is cool.

Maybe you could conceal one in the pocket of the satanic dish rag which would make it easy to toss two useless pieces of shit in the garbage at the same time.


Magic dish rag?

Jeeebus! I finally got chance to catch up with two issues of reelmagic that were waiting for me when I got back from my recent tour. I always thought Regal was right on the money but on the latest issue he highly rates a magic dish cloth which is basically a devils hank.

He says you can leave it in your kitchen so when you got some friends round you can impress them.

How many times have you called all your fucking guests into your kitchen during a dinner party?

The whole idea is just a bit crap. Would have made an OK magazine piece at a push - "Hey Genii readers here's a gay idea, make a devils hank out of an old dish rag and then have a party and impress people by vanishing a small object inside it".


Sunday, April 12, 2009


I am still alive (much to the disgust of many I am sure). Blogging is old and I don't have time for it. Twitter however is short and sweet and doesn't take much time...

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Big Blind Media

I've seen a few DVD's by BBM. I think they are trying to be the next L&L and they are certainly heading in the right direction. Most of what they put out is shit and badly credited. Good start guys!


Monday, December 03, 2007

Look like a retard for just $215

It's the busy season for those of us who perform magic for a living so my posts will be a little sporadic over the next few weeks.

Any how... if you're looking for a gift for a magician friend then why not consider this "look like a retard on stage kit" for just $215/£109/$99999999 Canadian... - Watch the demo and you'll see what I mean.


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Mix Tape by Alvo Stockman

Here's a great way to waste $50.

Visit and buy "Mix Tape"

The Effect: Next time you meet a friend for coffee, as a gesture of friendship, you bring along a CD you made for them of some music you thought theyd enjoy. As you give them the CD, you explain to your friend that listening to someones music is a great way to get to know them. Theres something deep and emotional about music that exists on a different level from plain conversation. You ask them what some of their favorite songs are, in an attempt to learn more about them. If you like those songs, youre going to love this CD, you say, pointing to the disc they're now holding.

The rest of the afternoon coffee is no different from any other. When they arrive home and play the CD, however, they realize that they will indeed love the songs on it. They're the exact same songs they mentioned to you earlier during coffee.

To be fair the concept sounds ok and if you are one of those magicians who doesn't do tricks for real audiences but instead just blows large wads of cash on shit from dealers so you can try to impress someone into being your friend then this may be for you.

OK let's look at what others have apparently said about this miracle...

"Mix Tape is the kind of magic people talk about and never forget. This is a high quality concept and effect that I will perform." - Paul Draper, Mentalist and Anthropologist

I'm sorry who are you? Paul someone? Clearly you don't work for real audiences either.

"I love Mix Tape. It combines three great elements - magic, music and a natural way of performing. I know that every time you perform Mix Tape you will feel like you're presenting someone with a very special gift. I've never come across a routine so natural and so strong. Use this and you will be the wonder worker they talk about long after you have left." - Luke Jermay, Mentalist

Ahh Luke 'I publish the shittiest, unusable ideas and brain farts I can think of' Jermay. Clearly he is only bigging this up because he is whoring out a bunch of 2nd rate videos on Penguin magic in their instant download section.

"Mix Tape is a perfect blend of magic and technology, with a sneaky method you (and your audience) would never suspect." - Joshua Jay aged 12

You would think the criteria for commenting on a trick would be that you are a magician and not a boy scout who happens to know a trick or two.

OK so the three comments from d-list magi don't impress, but that's OK because the dealer splurge continues with some information from the 'manufacturer'. I am not sure what they 'manufacture' since this is just a manuscript. Does doing some xeroxing at Kinkos and stapling some pages together count as manufacture? Probably not.

Manufacturer Says:

You wait. You wait a week if you have to. -Max Malini

Do you remember the scene in the film Oceans 11 when Andy Garcias character realizes that hes been watching a tape of his vault, and that his money is long gone? That moment, the moment you realize that something really big just happened under your nose, is a very special, juicy moment that you want to savor. You want to watch it over and over again.

Or the moment in The Thomas Crowne Affair when you realize that the stolen painting has been on the wall the entire time. Or the moment in countless movies where a last piece of a puzzle clicks and your new job becomes retracing your steps from the beginning. Except now you've got a big grin on your face because you know youve been had. It feels good.

As memorable and powerful as that experience is, its sadly absent from the world of instant-gratification-style modern magic. It takes a level of quiet confidence, and patience that doesnt translate well to television, stage or walk-around magic. This style fits into the category of lifestyle magic. You do it when youre having coffee, at dinner, at a meeting. You do it casually. You do it to bring magic into someones life. Youre giving them a first-hand experience of that Mission Impossible feeling theyve only seen in the movies. And its the seeds of your myth and legend as a performer of magic.

Mix Tape is an attempt to create this experience.

What a load of crap.

I'm not saying this is a totally terrible idea, and if it were given in the pages of a magic magazine or even a non-magic magazine like MUM or The Linking Ring, it would be accepted for what it is. But to run these off and pretend the idea is worth $50 of real money is just a joke. Especially as the method is given FREE to anyone who actually reads the dealer drivel carefully enough. And to pretend that the quote from Max Malini was even slightly about a trick as bad as this one is ridiculous.

Here's a gem of a line...

When performing Mix Tape, even in the unlikely event that you cant complete the effect, youve still given your friend a CD of music that you genuinely thought they'd like.

Great, so some of the time you won't get to finish the trick but if that happens it's ok because you still gave your friend a CD full of songs you thought they might have liked but were wrong. Well done you.

Here's an idea for you. Hand someone a regular, shuffled deck and tell them to think of any card, then tell them to think of any number. Tell them to take the deck home and count down to the number. They will discover the thought of card at the exact position.

To be fair 51 out of 52 times it won't work but that's ok because you 've given your friend a pack of cards which you genuinely thought they'd enjoy.

Hardly fucking magic is it?

The 'FAQ' for the trick sums it up. Apparently there is only one frequently asked question...

Q: Is there anything I need to have to perform Mix Tape?
A: Before meeting for coffee, a CD must be burned to give to your friend. You will need a laptop with a CD burner.

A laptop with a CD burner? Why not a desktop PC like I have at home already? Why would the computer have to portable? Hmmmm. Let's try this again...

Effect: You meet someone for coffee and hand them a CD. You say its got some tracks you think they will like. They begin to think you are gay and hitting on them. You casually interrogate them about the sort of music they like. At some point during coffee you go to the bathroom and take your big old laptop bag with you because you don't trust your friend to keep any eye on it. 20 minutes later you come back from the bathroom and apologise for being gone so long but you cover the fact by telling them you shat a yard of turd becasue you've been consitpated for a week. This flies by lay people because they know you are full of shit anyway.

As the longest meeting for a coffee drags on and on you find an opportunity to switch the cd's before making your excuses about having to go.

If your friend ever plays the cd you made in the stall they will be amazed that it has some tracks that you had questioned them about earlier.

$50 please.

In all seriousness... ask anyone (even a non-magician) to come up with a method for Mix Tape and they'd all consider having a laptop with you and making a disk. It is obvious. It is abismal.


Sometimes two people write about the same thing.

Sometimes two bloggers write about the same thing. I don't want to be accused of ripping off anything so I'll give a shout out to this guy who wrote about the concealed shelf a couple of days before I did.

I saw the ghost shelf on hank lee and thought it was curious, I typed "invisble book shelf" into google and the third result down was this: and that linked to Umbra conceal shelf site.

Gordons site links to another that wrote about how to make an invisible shelf back in January and the post at boingboing was written in May.

I might be a rude cunt but my thoughts and posts here are my own views. I'm happy to give a shout to someone else who has written about this but for the fuckwitt who commented to the post - gordon's blog wasn't my "source". My source was Hank Lees hot list and a google search which took me about 90 seconds.


Sunday, November 11, 2007

Ghostshelf exposed.

You might have spotted this gem on Hank's so-called hot list.

$24.95 for a bookshelf you can't see. Sounds right up the street of most magicians, and it is as typically over priced as most things magicians waste their money on.

The sales pitch goes on and on about what it isn't...

GhostShelf is an all-new, innovative way to store your magic media.
Using the GhostShelf gimmick, you will be able to have your magic books or DVDs mysteriously suspended on the wall without any visible means of support. Not a magic trick, but rather a diabolical way to show off your magic.

Can you figure it out? If you cannot, don't worry. You are not the only one.

Here are a few more hints for you to keep in mind:

* No, it does not use glue.
* No, it does not use magnets.
* No, it does not hang on thread.
* No, it does not use electricity.
* No, we do not give you a gimmicked book.
* No, there are no 'blind-spots'
* No, the pictures aren't stooged.
* No, you cannot sit or stand on it.
* Yes, you can put a small goldfish bowl on it.
* Yes, it will last a lifetime.
* Yes, every book is your book
* Yes, you can use any books
* Yes, it is silent.
* Yes, it is very easy to install.
* Yes, it will dock on a glass wall.
* Yes, it works in any type of weather.

And, yes, it makes an incredible holiday gift for that special magician on your list! So, get two!

Wow.. whatever could it be? Maybe it's this 'concealed shelf' which is available from many 'non-magic' outlets and because its been sold to lay people it's half the price...

Metal bracket, $12.99, magicians price $24.95

You just got to love how Hank fucks magicians hard in the ass over and over again. But then he is a magic dealer - that's his job!


Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Wesley James

Wesley James was always well respected among other magicians. Then he released the Erdnase DVD's and showed the world what a dull performer and a total klutz he is.

What an ass.


P.S. There is a full review of the 7 DVD set at - many excellent points and worth the read.

Thursday, November 01, 2007


Effect: A card is signed, one corner is torn off, you now fold the three-quarters of a card up and then unfold it again but pretend that you've actually ripped it up and fixed it. Finally you take the final piece and after a lot of fucking about you pretend to fix it back by rotating the card and palming a piece. Thankfully before anyone notices you've not done much magic you rip it all back up and vanish the bits.

Would probably fool prison inmates on crack.


Friday, October 26, 2007

Essential Stewart James

I think it's great that Allan Slaight has put out the Essential Stewart James book. Now magicians can enjoy some half reasonable card magic without having to wade through thousands of pages of the ramblings of a mad man who just smoked some grade A smack.


Sunday, October 14, 2007

Effects by David Forrest

When I say "Effects by" I use the word 'effects' very loosely. David Forrest seems to drop a turd into a ziploc baggie and magicians pass wads of dollars to him in exchange.

For example "Holes" is exactly what you would expect if you sent a couple of half-wit magicians off to a room with some cards with holes in and said "come up with a trick". But that's got nothing on his latest offering.

Route 1 claims to be a solution for card at any number. What you really get is ahalf-baked abortion of an idea involving two decks of cards. You show one and put it in your pocket (yep nothing suspect there) and then you fuck around with another deck for a bit and then you put that away (yes in your pocket) and bring out the 1st (?) deck again and amazingly the card they said while you assed around with the other deck is at the number they said.

It may be that Mr Forrest has come up with something good as well, he certainly seems to have a lot of tricks available, but I wouldn't waste real money on them based on whay I've seen.


Monday, October 08, 2007

Andrew Mayne

I notice that Andrew Mayne is about to be the guest of honor on the magic cafe. I am sure like most of the guest chats we will learn some stunning stuff like the color of his underwear and his favorite cheese.

In a related story magic dealer Hank Lee has just taken delivery of a new batch of Andrew Mayne illusion kits, a photographer snapped a picture of the van unloading...

If you don't use the Magic Cafe but still want to ask Andrew a dumb question he can usually be found round the back of K-Mart performing tricks with old boxes and milk crates.


What if Mr Whack isn't my real name?

It seems to bother one rather sad individual who clearly has no life that I post my name on here as "Mr Whack" because he suspects that Mr Whack isn't my real name.

Because of this, he keeps posting comments bitching and whining about it and complaining about the posts I write.

At the top of my blog in the "about me" section it's pretty damn clear that the things I post are my opinion and that you might not like it. It also makes it clear that if you're not a magician, you won't like the blog either.

If it really bothers you who I am then go back and read through all my posts since day one, I have purposely left MANY clues as to my true identity, and yes I am known enough in magic circles that just about anyone reading this would know me.

For those of you with a life, please continue to enjoy my fairly pointless whittering and rantings.


Sunday, October 07, 2007

L&L Videos on demand.

I notice that L&L publishing are now offering some of their magic videos as instant downloads through Grapeflix. This is great news for those who want to be disappointed at what they've wasted their money on right away rather than having to wait for the mailman.


Jeff Hobson Egg Bag.

I am sure many of you have spotted this bargain. $149 for a modified Malini egg bag and a routine where you act like a donut stabber.
Here's the sales fluff:

The Hobson Egg Bag, the most entertaining Egg Bag routine in existence, is being made available in a strictly limited release.! Jeff Hobson, one of the world's premier comedy magicians, is finally releasing one of his pet routines, a routine which has entertained audiences all over the world! The Hobson Egg Bag is like no other routine. It will have your audience roaring with laughter, for sure!

The complete Hobson Egg Bag package includes:* Specially designed handmade Hobson Egg Bag* 2 specially-made eggs* Instructional DVD* Personally autographed Hobson photo card* Plus a bonus - Access to a private, password-protected web site for in-depth additional instruction, tips, advice, staging, the use of an assistant, and a live video of Jeff Hobson performing his famous Egg Bag! This professional additional instruction along is worth the price!

Admittedly Jeff has produced a nice variation on the Malini bag, the lining being a different color to the outside of the bag is a nice touch and the shorter cut to the bag looks good too, but unless your stage persona is that of a faggot gagging for some cock action I don't see that this is a good investment for anyone.

Jeff Hobson took the egg bag and made it his own, but surely that is what we as magicians are meant to do with ANY trick that we perform?

All this release will achieve is a bunch of copycat idiots who had $150 all dancing about with an egg bag telling their audience "it's the whooosh that does it" - another nail in the coffin of good magic performance I reckon.

Thank fuck this is a limited availability item.


Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Dixie Dooley - What an ass.

It's getting close to October the 31st, the date that many magicians put on piss poor spook shows and fool themselves more than they fool their audience. And now thanks to those fun loving rip-off merchants at Pengiun magic you can buy a DVD that teaches you how to hold a sceance and convince people the dead really can communicate with the living!

Imagine how convinced someone will be that the dead can speak to the living when you perform "the haunted deck". Please give me a fucking break! It's a card trick and dressing up like a vampire and going "ooooohhhhhhh" isn't going to make the trick convince people it's the dead moving the cards. I am sure ghosts have nothing better to do than to find your chosen card at Halloween or to make a key turn over.

Oh but it gets better... Dixie dafooley also teaches you how to do the most convincing demonstration of spiritualism ever... "The Zombie floating ball". Holy fuck how will your audience sleep after seeing such overwhelming evidence of ghosts and spirts? A ball floated about while the man just held a large square of cloth! Someone call James Randi and claim the million bucks, he won't be able to dispute that one in a hurry.

If you want to do a spiritual demonstration then just do scotch and soda, a hankie vanish and a find a card trick and the whole time make noises like "ohhhh the ghosties are doing it" - it would be no less convincing than the shit Dixie Dooley is cashing in on with his DVD.


Saturday, August 25, 2007

MagicWhack Returns October 2007.

MagicWhack Returns October 2007.

Watch this Space!
(and please comment on this post... I want to know if anyone still checks this blog!)