The Magic Whack

Thursday, March 31, 2005


I've had quite a lot of email in the last few days. Most of it asking more about the L&L/Vernon/Pellegrino thing - I've said all I got to say on that and most of the questions would be answered if the daft fuckers who emailed me had read the blog properly.

One guy sent me an email with the subject line "ATTN: Randy Wakeman" - and then asked something quite meaningless. Is he saying he thinks I am Randy Wakeman? I don't know - he didn't ask. He just put that as the subject line and then asked me something that's answered if he'd read the blog properly.

Then a guy called 'Joey' emailed with an almost good question:

Hi Mr.Whack,

Im not expecting a reply, if you don't mind anon people then how come people can't make anon comments?



I didn't know you couldn't. I am guessing the blog insists you login or have a blogger account? I'll check into it. But let me say this - anyone can create a login on blogger. I did it - so could you. What is more confusing - if you didn't expect a reply - why even bother to email me?


Why is poor crediting acceptable on DVD?

Whether we like it or not, DVD is fast becoming a major learning media for magicians.

I'm not going to get into the whole 'Which is better, books or DVD' debate. But it does worry me that there's a huge double standard when it comes to crediting.

If a magician puts out a book and he forgets a credit or he credits something incorrectly, it's like a cardinal sin and it doesn't take long for magicians on forums and many of the bloggers to start yelling 'Crucify him'.

So why doesn't the same apply to DVD's?

Jay Sankey on his "very best of" DVD's credits the Slop Shuffle to Herb Zarrow! No one says a damn thing.

Richard Osterlind doesn't credit a peek he uses at all, and when someone asked about it on the magic cafe he replied that 'He forgot during filming'. I don't actually have a problem with that expanation and Osterlind certainly shouldn't be crucified for that, I'm sure it's a nightmare remembering to cover all the aspects of an effect in a shoot.

That's just two examples, I could give you dozens more.

An answer...

I think the producers of these DVD's should be somewhat accountable for the content and for the crediting. Why didn't someone pick up on Sankeys little mistake and simply put a title on the foot of the screen to correct it? And surely the same could have been done with the Osterlind piece. And if all else fails, and something got missed, it wouldn't cost the DVD producers more than a dime to have a small insert card printed that goes in future runs of the DVD which lists credits.

Now that a lot of new material goes straight to DVD and is not likely to ever see print - isn't it important for the sake of magic history to ensure correct crediting on DVD as well as in books?

If it's not important then let's quit bitching when someone screws up in print. It's a double standard and it's stupid.


Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Generation Extreme Bullshit.

Penguin magic have just announced a new DVD by Brian Tudor and they've gone as far as to give his style a fancy new name. XCM.

Here's what Penguin said about it in a recent email;

XCM (Extreme Card Manipulation) is the hottest new branch of card magic to hit the scene in fifty years. If you haven't seen anyone perform XCM yet, there's no way to really describe it... you've got to see the video:

And if you have seen anyone trying to perform XCM already, the chances are you looked at them, said "prick" and walked away. Go check the video demo for yourself.

I am not saying that you don't have to be talented to do stuff like that, in my mind you need to be very special indeed.

Here's a better definition of 'XCM' - Standard card sleights and flourishes done so fast no one can understand what's going on.

The problem with that is no matter what tricks you do, when you suddenly go into a 10 minute flapping session with cards whapping all over the place and then spin one out and say "that's your card", the audience just go - "yeah skillful". Instead of "Damn how did you do that?"

Penguin try to use the reverse psychology bit and tell people 'Don't buy this - its hard'. Here's what they say:

Warning: Don't buy this DVD. Almost no one can actually do the stuff you're about to see. It's aggressive, showy, complex, impossibly fast, and freakish. Once you master it, your spectators may notice only one tenth of what they're supposed to see... and only one one-hundredth of what is actually happening. That's no way to live... pick up a svengali deck and be happy.

If your audience are only going to notice one tenth of what they should see and one-hundredth of what's happening - what's the fucking point?

What would have been a better warning is this:

WARNING: Don't buy this DVD. This stuff is fuck all use in the real world unless you want to look like a magician having an seizure. This stuff is more annoying than it is entertaining and you're only a penguin magician who has trouble with color monte.

It's also not worth buying Tudor's earlier DVD's. Penguin say in their email:

In Generation X Tudor focused on demonstrating his revolutionary new routines, but he glossed right over the instructional sections. As a result, almost no one was actually able to learn the material from the video.

So we'll take that as an admission you've been selling crap to your customers shall we?


Sunday, March 27, 2005

The last word on Magicrants.

I wasn't going to say anything else about magicrants, I want to keep this blog entertaining and opinionated and avoid silly feuds that go on too long. But I feel I have to post this final few comments in light of what's happened in the last day or so.

Steve Pellegrino posted his final words on the 'anonymous blogs' issue and Katterfelto of the Magic Square blog posted a comment. That comment was a copy of an email Steve had sent out to a few blogs including the Magic Mafia and MCJ encouraging them to bash Glenn Bishop.

It was underhanded enough to send the email and then have a mysterious change of heart a few days later but to make it worse Steve turns off the comments to that post so that no one sees it.

I thought he was a coward when he stopped discussing the Vernon/L&L issue and covered it up with the "I don't like anonymous bloggers anymore" bullshit. Now I KNOW he's a coward. In fact I now know that he's an underhanded cowardly little shit.

I encourage you to read the posts made by others about this:

Here's what Katterfelto of Magic Square posted.
Here's what MagicianX has to say on the matter.

I also want to acknowlege Thomas Waynes email to me in which he thanked me (sincerely) for the chance to post his views in the comments section of my blog. Your email showed class Thomas and please accept my thanks for taking the time to post your comments here.

I know that some of what I say will strike a nerve with people, but I won't ever turn comments off on a post. I reserve the right to remove a comment that is not relevant or just plain stupid, but I'll never take one off because it disagrees with what I say.

I am now considering removing the link to magicrants. Not in retalliation, but simply because I think the way he's handled himself recently has been piss poor. I'm not going to remove it yet, I don't want to make another rash decision on it like I did before in the heat of the moment. If you're going to allow comments on your blog - then allow comments. By all means set rules such as language filters or whatever - but removing comments because they show you for what you are or for disagreeing with you is pathetic.


P.S. If Steve Pellegrino really knows MCJ's place of work, where he lives and all that other stuff, and in one phone call can get his real name... why did he take MCJ off his blogroll? Surely knowing all that means he's not anonymous.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Losing cards in the deck.

I came across this site .. which is a British web site run by Mark Mason. JBTV products are easily found on a lot of dealer sites but this is a site not only for his own products but also for other stuff he sells in his shop.

The best thing about the site is the large quantity of demo videos. But while watching one it reminded me of something in magic that drives me crazy.

Watch the demo of 'Holes'. It's not a terrible idea. But in the performance we see a classic stupid concept taking place.

The guy doing the trick points out that the selection is being put in the middle. He draws attention to the fact before pushing it in. But then makes the classic mistake and even patters about it; "We can even give the deck a few cuts and shuffles to make sure its lost in the middle".

I see this time and time again. Why bother to stress the fairness of the return of a selection and then cut and shuffle the deck? It makes no sense. If a card is put into the middle of the deck why would you then shuffle the deck other than to get the card some place else?

Lay people are not as thick as many magicians would like to believe. Why insult their intelligence?

Learn a control that secretly gets the card to the top for tricks like that. Putting it fairly in the middle and then cutting the deck makes no sense and you're not fooling anyone.


Friday, March 25, 2005

MagicWhack 3 - Others 0

So far Dwayne Andrews started to challenge my thoughts, I replied and he ran away. Steven Youell did the same and now Steve Pellegrino has done the same.

The only difference is that Pellegrino has made out that he's not going to read what I say or back up any of the shit he said and all because I am 'anonymous'.

Basically he argued back at some points I made and when I answered all those points and proved him wrong he came up with this magic 'realization' that he didn't like anonymous bloggers and that was reason enough to no longer debate anything.

I'd be happy to say that 'we agree to disagree', but he said I was 'misinformed' and then totally failed to back it up.

He's just thrown the 'anonymous' issue into play to avoid admitting he's wrong. I've justified why I choose to be somewhat anonymous in previous postings and many of MagicRants readers commented to Steves post and pointed out there are many reasons to be anonymous.

I have no problem with him deciding not to link to anonymous blogs or even read them if the reasons he gave were the truth. But they're quite obviously not. He even said he enjoyed reading most of them but now thanks to this new blinding revelation he's had a change of heart. It's all total bullshit.

The fact is - he originally linked to me and admits he liked what I was saying, if nothing else he respected my view points. But the moment I say anything negative about L&L he comes up with this crap about 'blogs that are anonymous have no substance'. He can pretend all he likes the decision on anonymous blogs has nothing to do with the Vernon/L&L debate - but anyone can that either he's a liar or it's one huge of a coincidence.

I haven’t continued replying to MagicWhack about the Vernon issue because I really don’t care how he feels about it. Why should I? Because he thinks he has valid points? He may have valid points if there was some substance behind his posts. So what do I mean by substance?

This is where we go back to what I said at the beginning - I like to know who I’m talking to! Tell me about yourself, what’s your background, your experiences, what’s your freakin’ story! Not because you have to “prove” yourself to me, but because I’m interested and want to know about you.

If he doesn't care how I feel about it, why did he write a blog about it in the first place and accuse me of being 'misinformed'? And his arguement for what has substance is the biggest load of cakka I've ever read. Just because he doesn't know who I am, doesn't invalidate anything I've said. In fact his arguements have less substance because he's not managed to back anything up - I have. He even says I don't have to 'prove' anything to him, and that he's only interested and wants to know about me.

So let me get this right... If he doesn't know about someone, what they say has no substance? Ohhh Please.

How often to police go on anonymous tip-offs? How often do we hear the Government quote anonymous sources? Surely they should ignore them, there cannot be substance if they are anonymous - at least according to Stevey boy.

Then this next bit of detective work is a gem. It also shows what a misinformed moron he is. He makes the following statements about me and claims to have read my blog in the past and admits to liking what I wrote...

So if I take the logic of everyone who says “why does it matter who these people are, I should look at what they’re writing.”, well then looking at MagicWhack I can tell you this about him based on what he writes:

1. He’s a 15 year old kid who’s been doing magic for a couple of years

Genius Steve. I'm sure that all 15 year old magicians have a good grasp of the history of L&L publishing and how Louis fucked Jennings over, understand the importance of the works of Vernon and care about crediting (most 15 year olds have learnt their tricks from elusionist, penguin magic or Ammar videos). I'm sure anyone who is 15 and has being doing magic two years would have read Darwin Ortiz's 'Strong Magic' - in fact I bet most 15 year old magicians don't know who Ortiz is.

How many 15 year old newbies to magic know or even care about the origins of the Ambitious card trick? Or how many of them could compare a new version of OOTW with the original and say why the original beat it hands down? How many newcomers to magic can discuss the classic force and tell you why the Penguin magic version is junk?

How many 15 year olds even know what Mene-tekel is? Let alone can compare it to the commercially marketed trick by Medina?

How many 15 year old newbies would know that two tricks Sankey has put out are rip offs of tricks marketed in the 70's/80's by Roy Baker and Harry Reeve, let alone be able to produce copies of the original Ad's for those products?

And yet if you check back through my blog you will see I've done ALL of those things, and more.

2. He is ticked off at magic dealers because they sell the stuff he wants for too much money and his allowance isn’t enough to pay for any of it.

Look back at the overpriced effects I've ripped into. I have never knocked anything of real quality that happens to have a high price tag attached?

Who really thinks there is value in a big metal box that can produce less of a load than a couple of thumb tips? Or who thinks it's worth buying a trick where you flap about some newspaper and nothing magical happens?

And several of the items I've discussed, if you read what I've written it's apparent that I own or have owned the item - so I must have had the money to pay for it.

3. His education hasn’t been the greatest because he only knows how to express himself with derogatory words.

So people like Bill Maher, George Carlin (and 90% of Comedy Zone performers) have had little or no education? Just because someone chooses to use the words 'fuck', 'cunt', etc doesn't mean they're not educated. These words are all part of the language we speak. It's OK not to like them, but they don't invalidate the truth.

I too used to think magic was expensive. Then I became a web developer and discovered that software and computers that need updating every couple of years is a lot more expensive than anything I need to buy as a magician. He’ll figure it out one day - the good stuff costs money.

When have I ever said the good stuff doesn't cost money or that magic is expensive? I haven't.

Maybe he is not a 15 year old kid, but using the criteria set out by the
anonymous blog supporters, to me that’s who he is.

Then might I suggest that it's you, Mr Pellegrino who is the one who is uninformed one.

When all is said and done, Mr MagicRants has chosen to avoid the issues like a politician (because I suspect he's been silenced by the great Falanga) by throwing totally nonsense excuses out there.

It seems to me his approach has been "Ohh something interesting was happening and people have started reading my blog... fuck that, I took care of it. Now, back to talking about which cups have the best lip and weigh the correct amount and are made by some drunken loser with kids that hate him."

I'm done with this now. It just sucks that he said I was 'misinformed' and then did nothing to back up his claim and then when I retorted he said 'I am not reading anonymous stuff anymore'. I just expected a little more from the guy.

If you do go to MagicRants, be sure to read the comments made to his post - there's some excellent points made.

New topics tomorrow!


P.S. One good thing to come out of this... Steven Pellegrino has made me think about other issues to do with L&L publishing, I'll cover them in the near future.

Blogroll updates.

I've done some updating of the blogroll.

I've added The Wizards Ball and The magic square. I've also removed a few blogs that aren't getting updated very often.

It may surprise some to see that I've left MagicRants listed on my list. Steve says some good stuff, and some stuff I obviously don't agree with, but that's what having opinions is all about. I'm not going to make up new policies that give me a way of avoiding issues.


I've lost a reader and its breaking my fucking heart.

Some people can't admit to being wrong. Steve Pellegrino of MagicRants is one of them.

I responded to his reply on the Vernon issue and now he knows I'm right he uses the approach of "I am not reading blogs by anyone anonymous anymore". Yeah good cop out. I don't mind that he's removed the links to this site from his blogroll and set a new policy that he only links to blogs that aren't anonymous - that's fine, you have to set rules for your site. But to say "I liked what was being written there but now if it's anonymous I won't read it" is just sticking his head in the sand because he knows I have a series of very valid points about the Vernon issue and L&L in general.

Here's what he says about anonymous bloggers...

Is it that important to know who is writing these blogs? Would it make a difference? In the long run, yes it does. Even though your readers don't know who you are initially, over time, and if you're honest about what you write, they will get to know you and understand your perspective.

Over time if I'm honest people will come to know me and my perspective anyway. Just because they can't apply a 'real' first and last name to me makes no difference. MagicCircleJerk remains anonymous but its obvious from his writings what he belives, what he stands for, and I think his regular readers know a lot about him - they just don't know his actual name.

How about I just put the name 'Greg Jackson' in my profile. Would you all be any the wiser? Would knowing (or thinking) that my name was 'Greg' suddenly bring so much more meaning to what I write?

Of course I can solve this for Steve really easily. He doesn't even care if I gave a full name. He links to this blog still : and that guy posts only as 'David'. But thank God he does eh? The fact I know he is called David means I know him and his viewpoints so much better doesn't it? So how about I just start signing my posts 'Jason'. Will that help?

So Mr MagicRant - you're not fooling anyone. You're just giving it a bullshit excuse because you know I'm right. I suspect Loius has hushed you because he doesn't want bad publicity and you are so far up his ass that you don't have a choice. You need the work and you know web designers are two a penny these days. You also know what he's capable of - look how he fucked Larry Jennings over.

MW. Jason.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

More on Vernon getting arse fucked by Louis...

I don't want to get into a big pissing match with Steve at Magicrants, but I'm going to reply to his views on my recent Vernon post.

He's copied and pasted some of what I said and then given his response, and now I am going to do likewise, but to ensure it makes sense I am copying the bits I said too. So to make it clear I will use Italics for what he is saying and prefix with 'MR' for 'MagicRants', bold italics for the bits that were originally said by me, prefixed with 'MW' and then normal font to reply. I hope that makes sense.

MW: It’s fairly well known that in his later years Vernon had a hard time saying ‘no’ to anyone. That’s why so many books that were put out in those days had forewords by Vernon.”

MR: That’s not my understanding. Maybe he didn’t say ‘no’ because he genuinely wanted to contribute to various projects. Maybe he didn’t say ‘no’ because he wanted the money.

But either way, he still had trouble saying NO as you admit right there. And, that's not how I understand it either.
Vernon was OLD..he pissed his pants at a party and had to be taken out and took home. Jennings took care of him most of the time at the same time these books were coming out and the forewards and accolades of lesser magicians. Now, why do you think he couldnt say No?

MW: “Vernon liked the way L&L put his books together (and I agree they did a fine job) and agreed to sign sheets that could be bound into all future editions. I’m sure he spent a bunch of his twilight years signing sheets of paper.”

MR: With that statement, he’s implying that the signature pages were bound into these books. They were not - he signed the actual books.

No, I realize that he signed the actual books that were published while he was alive. But I know for a fact that he signed a lot of what they call 'tip in' sheets to be bound into future Vernon books. Louis Falanga admited this in an L&L presents flyer which I can scan if you need to see it. How do you think he pulled signed copies of The Inner card trilogy out of his ass 5-6 years after Vernon died? And the provenance of the autographs are not the issue here anyway.

MW: “I don’t have a problem with collectors wanting first editions either, but what L&L have done is to pretty much ensure the standard editions of these books aren’t about.”

MR: The decline in book purchases is what is keeping the standard editions from being printed. You’re talking about printing between 1,000 - 2,000 of each volume. That’s a big investment for something that will take years to pay for itself considering the state of the magic book market.

Then stop flooding the market with shitty dvds, Louis.

MW: “Having dried up the supply of this mans work they then pump out 23 limited edition sets at almost a grand a piece.”

MR: Again, this is a very misleading statement. These books were not “pumped out”. They have been in existence for the past 20 years.

Sorry, they have exsisted for 20 years. So, why sell them now for a small fortune? Doesn't that seem off to hold onto to something that long only to attach an inflated price to it years later... sorry I said 'pumped out' ..I should have said 'PIMPED'.

MW: “So basically if you didn’t have a set of Vernon books and wanted one you now had to shell out a thousand bucks for the privilage. But as a bonus you did get some other stuff, but this is all utter garbage anyway.”

MR: The standard edition of these books are not hard to find and if you were determined to get them, I bet you could find them within a month through the used book sites and ebay. The bonus items may be garbage to you, but for the 23 people who made the purchase, obviously it wasn’t.

But Louis is not keeping the books readily availible and thats my point which are proving for me. Also, you know as well as I do that the 23 people that bought those sets are NOT students. They will probably never open the books, wont read them and dont intend to study them. They are collectors. This set appeals and is priced only toward collectors. Of course they are happy with the purchase. They expect to get a bigger return or at least $1000 worth of bragging rights at owning it. It's fucking stupid to say that they are satisfied with it.

MW: “Louis should be ashamed of himself, he exploited and old man and now he’s raping the mans legacy and keeping important works out of the hands of those who Vernon would have wanted to see it.”

MR: Interesting comment considering L&L owns the books and the rights to them. This is the same attitude young illusionists have when they can’t afford to buy a Jim Steinmeyer illusion. Will the standard editions be published again? I don’t know. I imagine one day they will be, but right now it’s a smart business decision not to republish them when there isn’t a market to sell 1000 copies. So L&L is “whoring” Vernon, what about this book seller who is selling a set for $5000? Give me a break!

Yes he is a whore..only concerned with profit. You said it yourself, they are a bussiness and well and good because he was a failed magician who had one pathetic book with .... a foreward by Dai Vernon prasing him!

No it's not even remotely close to the Steinmeyer illusion comparison. Not at all. Illusions cost money because there is a lot of work that goes into building ONE model. Books cost big money because Louis says so. I'm not going to run myself off a copy of the Vernon Chronicles at my local Kinko's because I can't afford it either. Nor would I do that to Jim Steinmeyer. Please stop being an idiot.

Yes, Im sure they will be republished when L&L have sucked every last dollar they can from what they have to sell. Sure if you want to say the book seller you linked is a whore, fine. I don't approve of any of it. But, its moron collectors that can't even hold a deck properly and will pay $5000 for a load of prostitution that pay your web designer salary!

I didn't know about the Sherwood cups but thanks for bringing it to my attention. They are just as big cunts as L&L.

And as for some of the dickhead comments that the post on Magicrants got to their blog...

Fred Zimmerman said this:

My question is this; when did having easy and cheap access to magical secrets become basic right? You would think L&L pulled Vernon’s feeding tube and is now keeping food out of the mouths of starving children.

It's not about having access to magic secrets being a right. Vernon cared about his legacy, he wanted his stuff out there. And if some magician put out something that was based on a Vernon idea but was independant reinvention, he'd get crucified. But is it his fault if the works of such an important figurehead of magic are not available or accessible to those who love the magic art?

Why is it shit like the Chris Kenner book and Ortiz and Sankey stay in print while we can't keep 10 books by the most famous fucking magician ever in print? How damn hard is it to cut the budget of 6 more dvds featuring a hillbilly with cards and a fat bald fuck horsing with rope and keep some classics available!?

Actually that's a redundant question - the answer is MONEY. And yes I know L&L is a business and there is nothing wrong with making a profit, but when you seriously fuck about with the art of magic and the legacy of a man like Vernon, you are just being a cunt.

And the advice Frank Zimmerman offers on what to do if you can't afford the Vernon books is the most fucking stupid thing I've ever heard:

Zimmerman: My advice to those who cannot afford the Vernon books (I used to own them and then gave them a friend because I longer needed or used them) I say, “Get a deck of cards, some rings, coins, and other assorted apparatus, and work out some magic ON YOUR OWN.”

That's like saying "If you can't afford a book on home improvements, get some tools and have a fucking crack at it anyway - invent your own methods - good luck". Or.. "If you can't afford a book on first aid, just guess how the human body works and have a go next time someone collapses in the street - invent your own life saving techniques".

I stopped reading Zimmermans comments after that first bit - he's a fucking moron.


Such a cl*v*r way of not expo**ng sec**ts.

Am I the only one that doesn't understand why magicians at the cafe (and I'm sure it probably happens on other forums) think that putting lots of *****'s in things is a good way of hiding a secret?

And what are they really hiding anyway?

Look at this post: Link!

What are these people thinking?

Someone wants to discuss Maven's Minds Eye Deck, but rather than refer to shorter cards they say "s*****r cards". Is this an attempt to hide the secret of the deck? If so, who from? I don't think lay people really bother to go to these magician forums to learn secrets unless they really have no life, and lay people wouldn't know what the Minds Eye Deck is anyway unless some dippy magician has done it for them and said "And now ladies and Gentlemen - the Minds Eye Deck trick".

So I can only guess it's because they think it would be unfair to tip the gaff which might lead magicians to make their own deck. But unless you understand the other construction aspects of the deck, such as what all the pictures are, and how the lines of a glimpsed image help you to know the 'thought of' image, telling a magician it uses long and short cards won't help them much anyway.

Then someone else comes in and refers to a Sv*****i deck. Well what the fuck could that be?

I doubt there are many magicians who couldn't work that clever description out, and now they know for sure that the discussed trick uses long and short cards, which means the pathetic attempts to hide such important words as "Paper Cutter" have been in vein anyway.

I guess Cafe policy is that it's OK to expose any marketed trick as long as you put lots of *'s into words that only magicians will understand?

"Hi guys, I just been playing around with Silver Shifter and am having problems swit**ng the rubb** ben*y coin for the real one. Any advice? Also my audience totally notice that the feke coin looks like sh*t."

I don't think they are exposing anything, but they wouldn't be exposing anything of importance if they did say 'short cards', 'paper cutter', 'Svengelli', etc. So dumping lots of **'s in what they think are key words is just self important crap. And even if they were discussing methods - it's a forum for magicians!


Wednesday, March 23, 2005

A message from Glenn Bishop.

Here's a message from Glenn Bishop,

Dear MagicWhack,

You said in your last post that my web site didn't have my contact info, but you were only looking at my .org site which is for magicians and my friends at the magic cafe.

The site I refer my clients to is which has contact info for me and all my buddies as well as a list of my favorite videos.


And he's right - check the site for yourself. I stand corrected.


Update 24/3/05: When I wrote this post was pointing at a gay porn blog. Whoever owns this domain has since pointed it at this blog! I don't know who owns it, or why they want to direct it here - but that's up to them I guess.

Dai Vernon is the Elvis of Magic.

If you follow the blogs you'll have seen Magician X's view point on the limited edition Vernon book set that was whored out by L&L publishing. He got a little stick for it, but for all the wrong reasons. Having checked things out for myself I wanted to give you my view points on it.

But first off, to prevent those who don't read past the first few paragraphs from bitching like Bishy's let me say this...

I have the upmost respect for Dai Vernon and his contribution to the magic art. It should be compulsory that magicians (especially card workers) study his work. It is only because of the respect I have for the man that I have a problem with the way L&L are pimping him out like a rent boy and screwing up his legacy.

It's fairly well known that in his later years Vernon had a hard time saying 'no' to anyone. That's why so many books that were put out in those days had forewords by Vernon. Vernon liked the way L&L put his books together (and I agree they did a fine job) and agreed to sign sheets that could be bound into all future editions. I'm sure he spent a bunch of his twilight years signing sheets of paper. (I'm not saying that these first editions weren't actually signed, just that having Vernons signature on something doesn't add too much to the value - there's a lot of signed Vernon stuff out there and I suspect more will be sold in the future when L&L dig it out the basement.)

I don't have a problem with collectors wanting first editions either, but what L&L have done is to pretty much ensure the standard editions of these books aren't about. Check L&L's inventory and you'll only find a couple of Vernon books for sale on their site and that's this one. And the tribute to Nate Liepzig. If you hunt about other magic suppliers you may find some of the others but they're all editions that were put out in the early 90's.

Having dried up the supply of this mans work they then pump out 23 limited edition sets at almost a grand a piece. The ad for this set is no longer on L&L's site but Google still have it cached: Google Cached page

So basically if you didn’t have a set of Vernon books and wanted one you now had to shell out a thousand bucks for the privilage. But as a bonus you did get some other stuff, but this is all utter garbage anyway. Let's take a look;

Dai Vernon’s Notebook – a reproduction of the Professor's personal notebook, written in his own hand - This is probably a bunch of scribbles, and things like 'Jennings owes me a drink' and 'I just boned Larsen again, god she's loose'. One thing is for sure - the ad copy does a good job of not telling us what this really is.

The Seagram’s Mental Trick – a color reproduction of a giveaway trick designed by Mr. Vernon in 1932 - WOW! A reproduction (not original) of something that was designed to be given away as a freebie.

“Fifty Years After” Dai Vernon color photo by Young & Robin – special photo of Vernon taken 50 years after the famous Hal Phyfe photo - A photo worth 25 cents then.

Tally Ho! playing card that belonged to and was actually used by Dai Vernon and a Certificate of Provenance. - One playing card! Who gives a shit if Vernon used it. It's no use to anyone. Maybe you could do Hoodwinked with it.

Letter hand-signed by Bruce Cervon (producer of all the volumes and editor of Volume 4), Stephen Minch (author of Volumes 1, 2 and 3), and Louis Falanga (publisher of all four volumes). - Great a letter signed by three cunts.

Vernon has become magic's Elvis because Louis refuses to let him die. He wants to pretend that his cash cow is still alive and writing new books. Every few years Louis goes down to the basement and digs out a box of old stuff that he got off Vernon before he died and shoves it out. Or finds another way to put out a limited edition and they make a shit load of money from doing so. Sure a little goes to the Vernon estate, but surely the family get royalties or payments from the regular editions that are sold.

If L&L truly cared about the Vernon estate they'd keep the Vernon books available so that new magicians could study and learn from the man. Vernon was concerned enough about his legacy to sit down and shoot loads of video footage before he died which became the Revelations tapes. L&L are just using the Vernon name as a meal ticket. They just pulled in a whopping 23k from selling those limited editions and a fair chunk of that is profit.

Louis should be ashamed of himself, he exploited and old man and now he's raping the mans legacy and keeping important works out of the hands of those who Vernon would have wanted to see it.

MagicianX said it right...

"Where does it end? Why do we need to whore out every single thing the man ever did, every scrap of his life?

Dai Vernon's legacy is in the magic he gave us. We can honor his memory by taking the lessons he gave and using them to improve. That's what really matters, and not having a card he happened to have touched."


P.S. I believe it's the attitude of placing money and profit over everything else that caused L&L to cut out the footage of Vernon repremanding Ammar on the first volume of revelations when it was released on video tape. Someone said they reinstated the 'lost' footage on the dvds but I've not seen them. If any reader can confirm this, please let me know. If they did put it back in, maybe it was just to help sell the DVD's? "Exclusive missing footage of when Vernon tells Ammar he's a fuckwitt"

Bish Bish Bish Bish Dick

I wonder if I'm included in the 'ranting 6' or 'six and a half' or 'ranting 437' or whatever number it is now that Glenn Bishop goes on about. Is he surprised that people pick on him?

Put yourself in the public eye and act a total cunt and you will get picked on. And when you lie out your arse about your achievements and how you've made it, you're going to get flamed even more.

I've not blogged too much about this talking colostomy bag, mainly because the other bloggers pretty much have it covered and Glenn Bishop isn't all that significant really. But he keeps trying to make out he's a big shot who should be listened to and then gives really bad advice. Magicians of any experience spot this and just ignore the muppet, but there's a chance that some younger less experienced magician with a really low IQ might just believe the rubbish he comes out with.

Some of what he writes is true, which makes matters worse. Because the tendancy is for most people to read something they know to be true and then blindly accept that what follows is true as well.

Bish's blatently appauling advice on writing press releases is one such example and Andy the Magic Circle Jerk picked up on that quickly as did others.

Here's some others:

1) Go read Glenns explanation of an effective web site. In that he tells of effective his site is and yet his site has no contact information on it at all. I am of course assuming that he doesn't have a site other than If he does it certainly isn't found on a google search - something that any so-called marketing expert would ensure happened.

"For me it is mostly about marketing to prospects. I target mail to mailing lists of both suspects and prospects. The people or the prospects go to my web site when they have an event in mind. And they need an entertainer for that event."

And you do that with a web site that has no mailing list sign up, no contact details and can't be easily found on search engines do you?

2) His narrow minded view points on audiences...

Audiences today have only interest in watching the highlights. Anything else is often boring to them. And because they are so used to TV and having the remote to change the channel when they want to. They can get board easily.

Then why do so many still go to the theatre, why do many enjoy long epic movies? Even in this modern culture movies like Lord of the Rings do well and they aren't highlight reels. The whole TV culture thing has a little truth in it, but its a dumb generalization to say that audiences find anything but quick snippets boring. The real truth is that audiences find the majority of magicians boring because they are.

3) What the fuck is he on about in the post about 'the move' used to deal cards onto the table. He's not even talking second deals here - just dealing into a neat pile and how there should be a fucking DVD done on it - retard.

4) Look at this pearl of wisdom...

I remember being in the magic shop and a magician walked in and said. “You know all you need to do to make a name for yourself in magic is to write 6 books. They don’t even have to be good books but that will make your name in magic”.

He goes on to say that because what is good and bad in magic is only opinion. Yes it is, but if you put out six books of utter shit, even the most gullible sucker is going to notice. Whoever that man was - was wrong.

That is one of the reasons that there is so much published in books and video’s in magic. Self publishing is a promotion.

So the blog looks like its showing you how to be a worker. I fail to see how having 6 really shit books published is going to get you work in bars, at parties, etc? What is this guy on?

That is not the reason so much is published. The reason is that dealers want new shit to churn out to put cash in the bank. There a lot of suckers in the world of magic and the dealers know it. They also know they can take a turd and make it sound like a winner with good ad copy. That is why there's so much being published now.

5) Fuck this. Go read the blog at for yourself. If you can't see this guy is a fucking liar who knows little about good PR and getting shows then you should probably quit now.

Let's get onto some other stuff...

How many times does Bish seem to imply that you're no good if you're not doing shows or don't have a DVD out?

Many magicians are hobbiests. I don't think theres anything wrong with that. Many magicians are great performers but don't create original material and don't want to put out a DVD because they realize there's fuck all value in a DVD full of other peoples tricks - if you bought the Bill Malone DVD's you'd know that.

Summary: From what I have observed, Glenn Bishop is a liar. He seems to be a wannabe that hasn't 'made it'. He just thinks he's famous because he posts on the Cafe about how wonderful he is. He's been busted lieing on numerous occasions and even had his own games back-fire on him. I somehow expect that there is nothing new in any of the stuff he's put on DVD or in print. But I'd love to be proved wrong. So if Glenn wants to send me one of his books I'll review it honestly. It'll have to be a pdf though - I'm not giving that guy my mailing address, he comes across as slightly unhinged to me and my mommy warned me about people on the internet like that.


Tuesday, March 22, 2005

What's the fuss all about?

Check this thread out...

People banging on and on about 'The Xpert' by Niel Tobin. I don't think for one moment that someone is that pleased with something that they posted a rave review of it on the Cafe. Then others jump in and go 'ohh its brilliant buy it' - come on, this is just a shameless plug disguised (poorly) as someone who is delighted with it.

Then some poor shmuck gets all frustrated because no one really says what it is.

Here's what I think. It's a magic forum, its members are magicians. No lay person is going to waste their time reading that shit are they? So why not just come out and say "It's a dry erase pen disguised as a sharpie". No one is going to want to get all messy making one and most will want Niel Tobin's book that comes with it so they'll chuck $20 at it anyway.

Good magicians learn not to get suckered by dealer ads. And with the amount of utter garbage that's being sold today, even the poor magicians are being more careful with what they spend their cash on.

I don't think any sales would be lost if they just said what it is. Magicians can figure the value out for themselves.


John Edwards Crossing Over

This site has John Edwards figured out.

Funny stuff - check it out.


Monday, March 21, 2005

Invisible thread making something float about is not magic.

Why do so many magicians seem to think that sticking an object on invisible thread and making it float about is magic? The only person they impress is themselves, the average lay audience looks at it and says "WOW - That's so clever, I can't see the thread".

You've got to be seriously retarded to think that spinning a card about and making it whizz up and down is magic. Tricks like Hummingbird Card are shit. If you perform them and think it's magic then you are very much mistaken.

It's just like all those stage performers who insist on doing the dancing cane. For three minutes or more the audience is subjected to some rizzo jacking off with a cane on a length of string they can't see. But although they can't see the thread - they know it's there. It's not fooling anyone so it's not magic.

Here's some other terrible thread tricks;

Floating bill - You got to love how the dealer has referred to thread as 'special something' because he doesn't want to tip it and actually believes there are people who can't work it out.

Quarter flight the floating coin - go see the video for this one, it's unreal. The damn coin wobbles about in mid-air and basically looks like its on thread (because obviously it is).

So do I hate thread totally?

No. It can be used to animate, to do rising cards and other fine pieces of magic. But floating a spinning cards, wobbly coins and other small objects is just obvious and tedious to watch.

So if you must use thread, use it wisely, make an object move but not float. Ohh and don't get ripped off by this device to move objects, it's just thread, a sponge ear plug and a coin. The earplug moves the object when it expands and the coin pulls the gimmick away. Why not just move the object with thread and go home?


Beyond the box

An Iranian magician attempts to out-do David Blaine's "Above the Beyond" by getting rid of the box and simply being hung by the neck for 40 days.

Sadly he didn't last 40 hours. But it was only an Iranian so no one got upset.


Friday, March 18, 2005

Cut controls by Jerry Sadowitz

This isn' t a review, I just think the cover is funny. Jerry has cunningly put an illustration of a deck of cards between the letters of the word 'Cut' so it actually looks like the word cunt.

Creative genius some would say, others might call it offensive. One thing's for sure, its not a totally original idea.

Check out the photo of the cover of this book titled "A Declaration of Indepdance", the author has cleverly put the word cunt in white font over the flower so on first look you hardly notice it at all, but stare at the book like one of those stereogram pictures and it'll stand out at you.

Almost subliminal eh?

But I hear you say - "That's not a magic book". So I better give you an example of a magic book then.

And this one will shock you.

Have you ever looked really carefully at the cover of Close Up Card Magic?

Take a look...

This one goes one better than putting the word 'cunt' on the cover and disguising it in someway...

Now if you look really carefully inside the outline of the large spade in the center of the cover, there is actually a photograph of a cunt.

At least Jerry Sadowitz's cover is a little bit clever and Jerry hasn't spammed every member of Genii and half the magic crappe trying to get them to buy his latest book - which at $30 is a bargain compared to Harry wanting $100 for a bunch of reprints with some new pictures.


John Zander - fuckwitt.

John Zanders latest product release is the most stupid I've seen yet.

John Zander explains: This is a routine that I have a great deal of fun with. It is perfect for a quick laugh or a short MC bit. The original routine belongs to my dear friend Aldo Colombini. Aldo's routine is called 'Computer Prediction' and it can be found in his book 'REACT.' The only addition that I made to the routine was to add the words 'Your Favorite Store' to the front of the envelope for an additional gag.

Need I say more? Why the fuck is this even been sold? If Aldo really is a "dear friend" then surely you'd do him a favor and post your idea for free all over town so that people buy his book?

It really is anything for a buck these days isn't it? The amount of total fucking crap and re-hashes of old ideas and other peoples ideas getting pitched to magicians has never been as bad as it is today.

Here's an idea. Dig out one of your magic books, if the authors dead - all the better, it saves asking permission. Pick an effect, package it up with one bonus joke - you could for example provide the cards in an envelope and on the envelope it says "Cogitations is good". Sell it for $15.

After all, what's good for the goose is good for the Zander.


Thursday, March 17, 2005

Bish the Magish...

I tend not to post too much about the goings on with Glenn Bishop, Steve Brooks, the magic cafe, etc. Simply because other bloggers have the market on that cornered. But I am going to make an exception here.

On the fantastic Magician X blog, there's a post that points to this (now locked) topic on the Magic Crappe.

It seems ole bishypoos is upset because there are blogs about magic that speak their minds and tell things how they are. Now bear in mind this is the same moaning minnie that Magic Circle Jerk blogged about recently, so it looks like he's just playing for attention. I expect Mr Bish needs to be on prozac and ritalin or something, he's like a problem kid who acts up to get the attention of his parents.

Anyway that aside. One of the things Mr Bish complains about is how blogs have insulted him for how he looks. I spent a while scouring the popular blogs and the only thing I can find that is about how he looks was my 'spot the difference' pictures which featured him and benny hill. I hardly think that's insulting to you - Benny hill is way better looking!

He then whines on about how he is taking his DVD's off the market because someone insulted them. This is another pathertic cry for attention much like the "I'm leaving the cafe.. ohh maybe I'm not" thread that circle jerk blogged about.

Then he complains about a blogger who insulted Harry Lorayne.

Plus at this person'a own personal blog he goes on and on insulting a legend in magic that wrote a great list of books. Harry Loryane... Most of these blogsters or blogarts have not even put something out on the magic market - nor the amount of great material that Harry Loryane has published! So how does what they are doing add value to the art of Magic?

Now I know of two blogs that picked fault with Harry Lorayne. One is Euan Binghams Magic Den and the other is the FooCan boyz blog. And both of them only did two things. 1) Pointed out the credit ommissions that 'Mr Memory' himself forgot to include and 2) Showed what an obnoxious, foul-mouthed loonatic Mr Lorayne is.

So its all very well saying how much material Harry put out - if most of it wasn't his then surely that's not a good thing?

And to suggest that if you haven't put anything out you don't deserve an opinion is utter shit. Anyway just to make it clear - I have put stuff out, its stuff people like and have talked highly of, so I guess I am entitled to an opinion even by Mr Bish's wierd standards. Also I'd suggest you check out Euan's site - he's put out lots of books, and the FooCan boyz put out four excellent issues of the FooCan magazine and are still promising a fifth. So I guess their points are valid too!

And for Mr bish to complain about bloggers language, if you check out the posts by Euan on the magic den and Andy at the FooCan site, they both post verbatim emails from old Harry and you should see the terrible lauguage that old fucker comes out with.

Anyway the thread on the cafe goes on for three pages and the Bish is just repeating over and over and over that he doesn't like blogs and they are bad. He says at one point that 'insulting professional magicians isn't good for magic'. I agree Mr Bish - that's why lots of blogs pick on you instead of a professional.

Blogs about magic are like National Enquirer is to the world of celebrities. If magic was as big as celebrities we'd all be publishing tabliod garbage. But it isn't so we keep to blogging which is free.
If you put out tricks to the market place or put yourself out in the magic-public eye, then expect to be picked on from time to time. But please.. stop whining like a baby.


Another Spot the Difference.

Another Spot the difference.

Spot the difference

Spot the Difference.

Amazing new Magic trick.

Imagine this. The magician comes on the stage and the audience give him the clap.

He shows a large red silk hanky. He throws it away. Amazingly the silk instantly appears back in his hand only now it is yellow and smaller.

$25 + shipping.

Not impressed? Didn't think you would be. There's nothing magicial about that at all is there - and yet Rey Ben has put out that trick with a newspaper...

The Diminishing Newspaper is a great new comedy routine from Argentina's Rey Ben.

Open a full size newspaper sheet, read it, close it and throw it away with your right hand. However, when you look at your left hand, the newspaper is still there, but it’s shrunk to half size! Surprised, you read it anyway, close it and throw it away again. But again, in your left hand is an even smaller newspaper. Repeat the action one more time and again in your left hand is an even smaller newspaper (2x2.5 inches). Try to read it, but it is too small. So, you shake the tiny newspaper and it visually restores to full size, as it was at the beginning!

Great comedy potential; totally visual magic!

Now to be fair - I have not seen this performed, but bearing in mind dealer ads are usually hyped up, the trick probably isn't even as good as it's been described there.

So let's step through it.

Open a big sheet of newspaper, throw it away, it's still in your hand. In other words you throw it away and the audience says 'ohh look another newspaper came out of the big one and its smaller'.

Repeat this a couple of times and realize you're not impressing anyone, so you shake the small paper and it opens out into a big one again and everyone says 'oh he unfolded that'.

If this was being sold as just a bit of comedy business, then I could just about imagine someone performing it and getting laughs, but to add to the end of the dealer copy "totally visual magic!" has to be a total lie.

$35 to look like a donkey seems a bit steep to me.


Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Another new blog worth a look.

I got an email today about a new blog that's going to give honest reviews of magic props. His initial posts are good, so I'm going to give it a shout, check it out. I hope the author keeps up the good work.


New - The Porper Trunk.

Imagine coming on the stage. Two assistants help you open up your trunk and show it is totally empty. You can even have a member from the audience come up and check out your assistants box.

After having this handsome trunk fully examined, the magician is able to reach inside and produce four cigarette papers. Your audience will be speechless.

Hand made by Joe Porper, the load chamber is virtually undetectable and yet can hold four standard size cigarette papers or one playing card (bridge size, extra thin card supplied).

Get your Porper trunk now for just $3,500. Shipping extra. This item can only be shipped within the USA as it is very big and heavy. Comes with a handy travel case which has been made from aircraft grade aluminium.


Tuesday, March 15, 2005

More-on Dwayne Andrew

A couple of weeks ago I showed you all the rare footage I discovered of the INVENTOR of the Ambitious card. A tool called Dwayne Andrews, or Andrew Dwayne, or Dweeb Ballbanger or Chunky Dwollops, his name was that memorable.

What I didn't notice was that he eventually posted a comment on that post.

Now first of all, if you haven't already read that blog post then click here.

Now let's look at his reply...

Dear sir, now that I have read your comments I feel I should leave the magic community forever never to return.

Good then I've achieved something worthwhile then.

Who are you kidding, may I please see your video.

Oh shit he was just joking about leaving forever. What a cunt.

I don't have a video, I don't need one. Why should I have one and why should I show it to you?

Also just so you know This video was not created for magicians. As I find most of you to be obnoxious children, who instead of trying to build up our artform by actual work, you would rather try to destroy what others have done.

Ok, we can tell it wasn't created for magicians. But who was it created for? You can't tell me that it actually gets you work? If you get a booking off that then agents and others in charge of booking magicians really are shit at their jobs.

Also this was Filmed by KH Video for Sky T.V. who provides inflight movies for American Airlines and others. Also this video appeared on over 80 cable channels over the PrimeMedia network.

Thank fuck it's never been shown on a plane I've been on. Of course long-haul flights are so dull people will watch anything. What is the PrimeMedia network? Is that 80 public access cable channels? I've travelled a lot and watched a lot of TV, funny I've never seen it. I invite readers of this blogger who have seen this shit on TV to raise a hand, because frankly I think you're talking out your ass.

Next understand that the reference at the beginning of the tape (to wit) the ambitious card, was a mild joke which worked. It got so much press through people like you that it has been seen in places I could never have imagined.

And that would have got you press why? No one outside of Magic would give a rats ass about crediting. You're lieing again. The only place you didn't imagine seeing it was on my blog you dumb tub of lard.

So I really do appreciate your help. As for the thought that my impressions are bad. You are right

I know.

they are caricatures -they are supposed to be over the top, or exaggerated

And utterly shit?

Houdini claimed that after a while no knows why you were famous, just that you were famous. If you don't believe it remember Heidi Fleiss.

And you are famous? No. So he wasn't fucking talking about you was he?

Just so you will begin to understand the process I undertook. This involved eight hours of filming on top of a building near downtown Dallas with three Beta Cams three camera men a producer and director, production assistant and technical advisor.


My usual performing style is standing, so when the directer asked me to perform seated this caused me to modify my performing style. And not to excuse myself but it is hard to fool a camera.

So you couldn't find a director who could cope with a standing shot then?

It's hard to fool a camera if you perform as badly as you did. Other magicians, and when I say other I mean real famous ones, have been on TV and done great.

Editing this project took another year, Of which I was only peripherally involved. But all in all it is aestheticly pleasing to me and that is what really counts.

You really got a shit production company then didn't you - a fucking year and that's the best they could do with it?

Understand that this video was not meant for you, it was however meant for people to see and enjoy our profession (or your hobby).

Ohh I think it was meant for me - I've had a hell of a laugh.

To prove that it worked. I started using this video after I obtained the rights. It has greatly helped to sell my work. Because of this video I book about fifty shows per year more.


Something else that will surprise you is that after watching this video, a concert promotion agent approached me to create a tour of magicians to play over one hundred dates across the U.S. and Canada. So it seems that My plans are working and doing well.

Yeah be sure to let us know when that happens.

I believe people such as your self who only exist to (all unrequested) critique others work, not to bring about a positive change, but only to destroy another person, have a special place reserved in Dante's Hell.

A special place - excellent. Glad I'm getting something out of this.

And understand that this type of attitude is the reason I will not be a part of the magic community organizations at large, as it does not foster a sense of brotherhood but only serves to give small people a place to whine and commiserate.

No lets be real here. You avoid the magic community because you're no fucking good. Maybe if you did join in the community someone could give you some guidence and you could improve.

My thoughts are the same concerning anonymous posting on web sites and blogs.

If I met you face to face I'd tell you the same as have done here. You're a liar and a bad magician. In fact I can't decide which you're worst at - magic or lieing.

Also I understand that most of the things I have said here will be misquoted and misused to try to defame my person even more.

I have quoted you word for word.

That's fine because I realize the types of persons who are doing the fault finding. Before putting this on my website I asked several of my professional working magician friends their thoughts on this piece of work.

Ohhh members of the magic community you refuse to be a part of?

Other than a few editing mistakes most liked the quality and humor.

I'm sorry - I thought you said they were professionals?

therefore again I submit to you that your oppinion was not warranted or needed and not appreciated.

Tough - get over it.

And if you still have a problem then please feel free to contact me personally that we might have a close-up and personal discussion preferably with swords or pistols,cordially
Dwayne Andrew

Why - it's more fun to blog it here.


Don't be offended if you don't get a reply to emails.

I've had quite a lot of email to the magicwhack address, so I think it's worth explaining now so that no one takes offense...

I don't reply to my email. Not ever. Not even if I think I know you.

I like my anonimity, not because I'm ashamed of what I write or a coward, just because it would be quite a surprise if people knew who I really was (no that's not a photo of me either, he's a paid model). The world of magic has generally become a big suck-up club and as someone commented to one of my posts - magic takes itself too seriously.

The bottom line is I have products for sale, and magic is my living (performing it, not selling tricks - that's just a fun side-line). In speaking my mind I'm going to piss some people off, and the simple fact is that their $$$ are as good as the next persons.

I have some good stuff out there (Of course all the stuff I have out there is put out under my stage name. My real name is of course Magic Whack) and sadly some magicians are so dumb they'll shoot themselves in the foot on some pathetic attempt at making a moral stand on principle. "I don't like xyz because he once accidentally forgot to credit some unheard of guy in a trick he wrote up and so I said I'd never buy anything he put out even if it would work really well in my act and is one of the best tricks to come out this year..."

I'm not going to say anymore, I've given away too much as it is.

So if you've emailed me and not got a reply, its not personal. Email is traceable and I'm not stupid.


Magician X is going to be on Steve Youell's shit list too.

I just read this and almost pissed myself laughing, but its only funny because its so damn true...

I hope Magician X won't mind me quoting a little (but please do go read his whole post, this is just a snippet to wet your appetite)...

This caught my attention because I've had my fill of dropping by Genii and seeing:

This week in Cogitations I reveal how I got a stiffy watching Ron Bauer do his version of Fuck The Queen!

or some such moronic bullshit. Such posts are generally responded to by a flunky who'll say:

Holy fuck, Steve! I'm getting a stiffy just thinking about reading this! Thanks for having such a great magazine!

I bet Magician X gets a nice email from Steven Youell next saying 'I insist on you telling me your name or are you a coward'. In fact I'd bet on it.


Well, it turns out I'm not the only one that Youell has accused of being a coward. Euan Bingham of the Magic Den emailed me.

Interesting to see Steven Youell's calling you a coward. He called me the same thing when I refused to give him my phone number!

So it seems that if Magic Whack wasn't my real name and I had then given him my name, he wouldn't have been happy and would have asked for my number and there's no way I want my number in his little black book - I'm straight as they come. No doubt Euan refused for the same reason.

Last thing you want is the chance of someone like Youell stalking you.


Email from Steven Youell (of

I got an email from Steven Youell - the man behind Cogitations.

I know I don't need to tell you what cogitations is since Steve makes sure he whores it out at every opportunity on every discussion forum related to magic.

Here is his email:

Subject: Greetings

Would you like to tell me your real name, or are you a coward as well as a racist?

Steven Youell

So here is my somewhat open reply...

Dear Mr Youell,

1) Magic Whack is my real name. You may call me Mr Whack, 'Magic' or '12 foot cock' as I'm known to by a few select hot babes.

2) Let's pretend Magic Whack wasn't my real name. Why is it that people think if you dont whack your name all over something you are a coward? If I said "My name is John Smith", would you be any the fucking wiser?

3) Racist? I don't know how you managed to jump to the conclusion that I'm a racist. I've done one joke about 'tiger magicians' and used the term 'wop' to describe Darwin Oritz. I actually have no idea what nationality or race he is, he interests me about as much as his style of magic. Just because someone isn't over-board political correct (and I'm not), it doesn't make them a racist. I am also not anti-gay, despite picking on you Mr Youell.

4) Finally Mr Youell, may I respectfully suggest that you now go and fuck yourself.


Cogitations - at last a magic e-zine that caters for the gay magic community. Gay magicians can now get their fill of card magic. Cogitations Features articles by Steve 'nonce fingers' Youell, Andi 'Gladini' Gladwin, Dawin 'wop de wop' Ortiz, Jason 'lameini' England, Steve 'semi-automatic' Beam, JC Wagner, Andru 'cant spell' Luvisi and many more. Visit Cogitations web site for more on this card magic magazine. It's only $20 - so you won't feel too ripped off. If you can find one trick worth performing then you've got your moneys worth, although you've also discoverd that you don't know dick about what makes a good card trick. and Cogitations are names for the card tricks and card magic magazine and are the brain child of Steven Youell. Subscribe to cogitations. Get cogitations FREE. If this doesn't help get this page listed on google then I don't know what Cogitations will. Steve Youell, free tricks, card magic.

Two new blogs added to blog roll today.

I've just added two new blogs to the growing blog roll.

One is Euan Bingham's Magic Den and the other is MagicEnigma.

Both are worth a read. I find it interesting that Euan has had a little run in with Steve Youell, I've just had an email from him... watch this space, more on that later.


Monday, March 14, 2005

Joe Porpor - Mystery Box (it's a mystery why anyone would want one)...

It's the latest from Joe Porper. $700 for a metal production box that's really a tube since it doesn't have a bottom or a lid.

Now I am sure Porper makes good quality stuff, but I have a hard time imagining that this particular method of producing 4 silks is good value for money.

As always the dealer ad copy for this is superb...

Joe Porper has done it again! Never before has there been a production box like this. It's the only box ever created with four separate production chambers hidden within the thin walls of this unique box.

OK, so we know right away where the load chambers are, so we also know they are smaller than the minds of those who manage the magic cafe. In turn that means we have a pretty good idea just how pathetic the production load is going to be, but don't worry the ad will get to that in good time...

Fabricated to aircraft-quality standards out of aluminum stock, each box is anodized and polished for a lifetime finish.

Well thank Jeeeebus for that eh? I don't know about you, but I insist that all my props are made aircraft-quality standards in case I ever have to perform at 50,000 feet. To be fair for $700 I'd expect it to be military grade.

The effect is simplicity itself: The box has no top and no bottom. You can see right through it and it can be handed to someone to look over before you proceed. The box is shown on all sides, and shown to be empty. With no false moves of any kind the performer can produce four eight-inch silks, or sponge balls, spring flowers or spring bills.

Now read that carefully. $700 worth of box and you can product FOUR. Yeah, count'em FOUR eight inch silks. Now bear in mind that most magic dealers recommend nine inch silks for use in a thumb tip. So in other words this box handles 4 silks that are all SMALLER than those used in a standard thumb tip. That's a big load eh?

Why not save $700 and settle for producing two slightly bigger silks from your bear hands?

You can produce anything that will fit into the four individual load chambers.

Which as we've just discovered is FUCK ALL. My dick shoots more jizz than this thing can hold.

The Porper Mystery Box comes with four silks and a custom wooden storage box. Perfect for closeup, platform or stage.

Well there's your value, it comes with a storage box. I guess you need to protect something made to aircraft standards. It's just as well it comes with a box, its going to spend most of its time in storage after all.

Sometimes I can understand a lot of money being asked for a real high quality item, but when the item is utter shit and can only produce a tiny load like this - you gotta ask yourself - Who they fuck is gullible enough and that down-right thick that they think this is a good trick and worth the money?


Saturday, March 12, 2005

A very good reason not to subscribe to Cogitations.

If you were tempted to subscribe to Cogitations then here's a damn good reason not to...

Darwin Ortiz is writing for it. Check this post on Genii.

If you've read his 'Strong Magic' or seen the overhandling wop on any of the A1 videos then you'll know that this isn't a great selling point for Cogitations.

I'm sure if Steven Youell really tried he could get some good magicians to write a piece instead.


Friday, March 11, 2005

Magic Magazine

Why do they insist on printing Magic Magazine on glossy paper? I can understand them printing porno mags on high gloss so that we got a chance of wiping off any spillage. But Magic Magazine isn't the kinda mag you spank the monkey to (unless you sad).

At least if they printed it on normal paper it would be a little more absorbent and we could use it to wipe our asses on. Might as well for the good the content is these days.


The Magic Advocate and his routine for Kollossal Killer.

A few days ago I posted about Kenton Kneppers peewee, If you didn't read that blog then look here.

Brian the Magic Advocate has added to the idea and in a great way. Check out his ideas here.

I'll be adding Magic Advocate to the blog roll.


Thursday, March 10, 2005

Steve Fearson gets his cock in area 51

I guess this is Fearsons baby - unless he sold exclusive rights to his girlfriends pussy to Copperfield...


Another spot the difference...

Box Car Willy

Larry Jennings

Magician X - Funny and worth a look

Another new blog. Seems to be a lot of us doing this these days, but as long as they're funny and/or make some real hard hitting points that others are too damn scared to say - they're alright by me. - There's some great stuff here, I hope he keeps it up. I've added him to the links list.

Hairy Mary's Beard blog has vanished, so I've taken him off the list.


Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Kenny the KKK Clown passes away.

Magic today is mourning the loss of Kenny 'The KKK clown' Daniels.

Kenny might have been a klansman who in his own words wanted "to see all niggers and foreign people hung", and he might have blown up a few black churches in his time (although he got away with it). But he was also a magician, he did a couple neat tricks and wrote a book called 'Black Magic', so he was alright really.

What a sad loss.

Now be honest - if that was real (it's not), would you accept that? And yet on a bigger scale a bunch of magicians on the Genii forum are actually defending a guy who fucked children.

Go read the posts and you'll probably discover some more magicians who like making kids asses bleed, because why would you defend someone who abuses children unless your an abuser yourself?

Thankfully a few magicians who post there have some sense, Richard Kaufman, mrracewilly and Ryan Matney are the only ones making any real sense. But it's worrying that there's more magicians supporting a child fucker than there are pointing out the truth.


Sunday, March 06, 2005

Respect for Kenton Knepper.

As much as I've picked on Kenton Knepper about some of the crap he's published, I think he deserves massive respect for one thing.

According to secret sources, he can proudly tell people that he's got a 12 inch cock.

Actually its only 2 inches, but he's written "off by ten" in felt pen on the tip.


Friday, March 04, 2005

Cow Shit.

Hocus Pocus do it again, another over-priced exclusive that makes little or no sense. It's called 'Bessie the Elusive Cow', why not check it out on their site

As you can see it's basically the age-old block off rope trick but done with a transparent acrylic block. There is nothing new here at all, other than the price tag. Almost $150!

It should really be called 'over priced clear plastic block off bit of string' but for some reason they went with the Bessie name.


Thursday, March 03, 2005

My bad spelling means at least 12 disappointed people.

OK, so I can't spell 'Impromptu'. In two posts I made the common mistake of spelling it 'impromtu' without the P.

But it's worked out pretty well, the mis-spelling seems common to google users and this site has had 15 hits this week from people searching for... "free impromtu mind reading tricks" or a similar variant. The mis-spelt version comes in at 10th position on

I bet they were gutted when what they got for their effort was a dick gag.


My Routine for Tenyo's Mystery Poodle.

Have you seen this quality Tenyo item?

It's the amazing 'Mystery Poodle'.

This is the sales pitch for this hunk of crap...

The magician twists a string of beads together to create a toy poodle. This poodle is wrapped inside of a handkerchief. To everyone's surprise, they can hear the dog barking! At the end of the trick, the
magician puts the dog away in his pocket. The barking continues to come from within his pocket. This new trick is based on the concept of sound.

Think how surprised everyone will be when they hear a cute beaded poodle start barking! You can also draw a picture of a dog on a sheet of paper, and wrap the illustration inside of the handkerchief. Even that dog will bark, to everyone's delight. This unique trick is both comical and mysterious. You'll be surprised at the clever secret.

Now we all accept that this trick is really quite lame, lets be real here, all it boils down to is that you twist some beads like a balloon animal and make a poodle and then you wrap it in a hanky and the spectators are mildly amused at the barking noise coming from your coat and all say "wow what a clever use of electronics".

But although its not much good I am going to tip my professional walk-around routine and once you have this routine I just know you'll be rushing out to buy one.

Start off with the poodle already made.

'My girlfriends birthday was coming up and I asked her what she wanted. She told me she loved dogs and jewelry. Unfortunatly we can't have pets in the apartment we live in, so I had to come up with a solution. I knew she'd love a dog', now show the poodle, 'but that wasn't going to happen. So do you know what I did?'

Bring out the hanky, set the dog on it, "I got my girlfriend under the bed sheets that night and gave her the closest thing I could", as you say this you wrap the hanky up. "I gave it to her doggy style and I was so good that night she even made barking noises". Shake the hanky up and down and make the dog bark.

'You know I was sorry I couldn't get her a real dog', remove the dog from the hanky and display, and then begin to untwist it. 'But I did remember that she also liked jewelry, I can't afford anything like that but again I found a solution and when I'd finished giving it to her doggy style, I straddled her chest and gave her a pearl necklace'. Show the string of beads and take your applause.


Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Keys of Leslie.

Check this out:

    The classic 7 keys plot is a great piece of magic, but to make a version that uses something that looks like a giant kids toy and worse still reeks of 'hokey magic prop' is plain ridiculous.
    The apparent justification for this chunky piece of garbage is pathetic...
    "There is nothing unusual about this lock" says the magician, "We just made it big enough so you could see it in the back."

    Oh please.
    "The other reason these keys are so large is that it make it impossible to do any sleight of hand with them," says the magician.

    The reason the traditional plot works so well, is that when it's usually performed with a real looking lock, the keys can be picked out by spectators and tried and the last key is also picked out and tried by a spectator - eliminating the possibility of 'sleight of hand'. Making the keys big sticks does nothing for the trick other than make it look stupid.

    The most amazing thing about this 'Toys R Us' prop is that it costs $750.

    So here's your choice. Pick any one of dozens of methods that are in print that use a real looking lock and perform a great classic of magic, or spend $750 on a big wooden lock and a set of jumbo keys and ruin your career.

    Well done Hocus Pocus.


    Guests on Magic Cafe

    For all its faults the Magic Crape does manage to get some good guests to take part as a guest of honor. But what's a shame is the quality of dumb questions that get posted.

    At the moment David Acer is the guest, is it any wonder that he's not replied to some of those questions yet?

    Take this gem from Cameron Fisk;

    Mr. Acer, any solution to the the problem of having the second TT fly off your hand after the first one has flied off and then vanished in the second TT...? Also what do you do in your Coins to Glass routine if the glass keeps breaking?

    Sorry, I had nothing better to ask.

    Cameron Fisk

    The vast majority of the posts are just a load of blatent ass kissing. Now fair enough, the guest should get respect, but post after post of 'I think your brilliant, I love you' gets to be tedious reading. Sadly even the good questions always seem to start with two paragraphs of telling the guest how amazing they are and offering to suck their shlongs.

    Check this post...

    Hi David. Im still laughing out loud after your performance in Blackpool, England some years ago. Haha. I think you extended my life with two hours.

    Mats G. Kjellstrom

    I find it rather hard to believe that someone is still 'laughing out loud' after 'some years' have passed. I suspect class A drugs are more easily available in Sweden.

    And I'm guessing Travisb is a backside bandit based on his question;

    How do you maintain your lean, muscular physique?
    I'm guessing Pilates.


    The biggest problem is that among all the silly butt kissing and nonsense questions are some good ones and some good answers, but by the time a guest's week has ended on the cafe, who can be bothererd to work through hundreds of posts just to find one or two good ones?