The Magic Whack

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Happy Hour

Go to and in the search box type "happy hour". It will return one result.

Now go watch the demo video and then someone please tell me - why the fuck is this for sale?

Pumping out shit into the magic marketplace is what its all about these days. With dozens of new sub-standard shitty ideas being thrust upon magicians on a weekly basis. All the inventor (and I use the term 'inventor' loosely) has done is take an old force idea and applied it to a bottle of drink.

And what genius patter they suggest. "The magician asks if anyone in the audience is getting thirsty..." The audience replies "no just fucking bored you dull cunt, quit doing shit tricks you bought from a shop and entertain us for a change".

So here's how to make cash in magic. Look up any old principle, maybe a force from tarbell with cards. Now instead of using playing cards use cards that have names of different vibrators and dildos on them. Write a patter theme along the lines of... "the magician asks if any of the women in the audience are getting horny". You can show the different names, the jessica rabbit, the 8inch real feel, the black mamba, kingdong, etc. You have a young lady pick one of the cards, and she's chosen the "12inch super thick vibrating super dong", you have her open the paper bag thats been on stage the whole time and sure enough that is what sex toy is inside.

If you don't like the sex toy idea then maybe you could show different brands of tampon. Package it up and sell it for $40. Making magic is easy! Get on the band waggon and cash in!


Monday, July 24, 2006

Just what we need - another really expensive 3-fly trick.

First it was Bob 'sell ya mt grandmammy fer fifty bucks' Kohler who chonked out an apparently "ultimate" version of 3-fly with a hefty price tag, and now it's the turn of English magician Mark Mason with a routine called "Come fly with me" which is going to sell for a bargain $375.

Marks special set of coins aren't available until the end of this month but there's a teaser video on his site which unfortunatly doesn't give even the slightest clue about how good this routine looks.

But even if it looks great, why do we need another fucking 3-fly?

More to the point why do we need more over-priced gaffed coins to achieve an effect that can be done with 4 coins and no gimmicks anyway? Sure the gaffless version might not be quite as perfect but to a lay audience it's the same fucking trick.

Surely this is just $375 of magician pleaser gaffus?

I'll be at FISM, so when I've seen it in action I'll tell you what I think.


Monday, July 10, 2006

Party time chop cup!

Yes summer is here so someone thought "a spun aluminium or copper cup looks out of place at a party" and decided what we needed is a tumbler like the kind you use at a party. Here's what old Hank beardlikejesus Lee says about it...

Nothing says “Summer” like the Party Time Chop Cup Tumbler. It’s a real plastic
tumbler nicely made into a Chop Cup. Great for the strolling magi. This
custom-quality prop blends perfectly with backyard barbeques, picnics, outdoor
parties and other informal settings where your audience might think another type
of Chop Cup looks out of place.Comes with two 3/4" crochet balls.
What a great idea - and no one will care that NONE of the other tumbers at the party look like the green shitty cup you've plucked out of your pocket will they? And in a stunning display of genius they've included regular red crochet balls just like the ones everyone has laying about their house.

$forty-fucking-five bucks. Watch the suckers get in line and snap them up.