The Magic Whack

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Penguin keep selling shit

Looking at the top ten new arrivals at Penguin Magic shows that they really know how to market some utter shit.

The Ultimate Coin in the Balloon with Michael Bairefoot (DVD) - This looks to be another Magic Makers DVD based on the black background, standard card table, dimly lit room approach to shooting video. For just $30 you get to see a Redneck hick in a suit stuff a coin in a balloon and swirl it about. You also get some rope stuff, which from the demo would all appear to be non-original stolen material, a linking cards which is obviously Paul Harris's Immaculate Connection, 'the bairefoot force' which looks like a classic force and probably is, and what looks like the most sad attempt at a torn and restored card ever. Why is this being sold at all?

Bill in Kiwi with Carl Cloutier - Take a common trick like Bill to lemon, change the fruit to a Kiwi and you got a fucking product to sell to magicians because most of them are gullible little shits. Well done Carl.

The PASS with Randy Wakeman (DVD) - If you want to learn how to do a pass that involves tipping the deck back and forth like you're having some kind of episode then this is the DVD for you. I watched the demo and couldn't believe anyone would want to learn a pass off this nasal sounding prick.

The Hunter Shuffle - Do the zarrow shuffle, change its name, put it on DVD, $20 please. This is just plain stealing.

No wonder Jay Sankey has found new dealers to sell his shit, even he doesn't want to be associated with blatent shit like this.


Monday, April 25, 2005

Afro Head

Richard Kaufman - master of the pass or at least the master of talking about it in a recent post on Genii admitted...

"I have neither the time nor energy to practice. Between the time I lectured in China in September 2004, to the Blackpool convention in February 2005, I had not picked up a deck of cards once."

Geeze I bet that was a fucking great lecture then. What a fucking pro.


Thursday, April 21, 2005

MagicWhack tackles some more...

OK here's some more issues I've been asked to clean up...

aguijonmagico said...

My view is that many debates are born from a set list of questions, always asked time after time in every magic forum. So, I will list the questions, which are the root of those debates...

Can we use cards in mentalism...or not?

Kenton Knepper tries to pretend this is a controversial issue if you read his rantings on online-visions. It's not.

I also don't see why it's discussed on forums as much as it is.

If you are comfortable doing mentalism with cards then fucking do it. If you're not - don't.

How Am I suppose to dress?

In a short skirt, tight top with a push-up bra, stockings, suspenders, high heels. Well that's if you're an attractive girl magician, because girls are no good at magic so if you're going to perform you better give us some eye candy and make out we might get to fuck you if we watch you do tricks.

If you can't figure out how to dress for a show - you're not ready to perform.

How much should I charge?

If you have to ask this question then not fucking much, maybe a dime or two.

If you are serious about performing and are good - do some research of your own. Asking in a magic forum isn't research, it's lazyness and a good chance for all the ego driven dicks in the forum to lie about how much they make.

First time gig on table hopping. What tricks should I do?

Again if you don't know - you are not ready to perform for money. In fact you're not ready to perform for real people even if you're doing it for free.

Is the pass necessary?

It beats me too why this gets asked on forums. If the pass is really the most efficient solution then use it. If it's not then don't. Sadly a lot of 'respected' magicians harp on and on about 'the pass' and in most cases they use it when it's not necessary and do so only because if they do they can rant about how fucking good they are.

If you're Richard Kaufman then it's necessary - your life would be meaningless without it.

Are stage magicians real magicians, or the real magic is in close up?

Reality check: There is no such thing as real magic. Magicians do tricks.

Where do I learn street magic?

Learn tricks, do them on the street - you just learnt street magic.

The bigger trick is learning how to be a good street performer. Most of the dicks on forums don't have a personality and so are going to die on their butts on the street.

What is 'street magic' anyway? In most cases it's close up tricks that can be done without a table and is for performers who don't want to be paid much, if anything.

If you don't want to learn to be a good street perfomer then learn to juggle black tiger cards about and look like a prick. That seems to be the accepted alternative.

Videos or books?

Niether. Use DVD's.

The real answer is - use what's good for you. But for fuck sake if you're going to learn from video/dvd - learn the trick then turn the video off and go practise it, alter it to suit your own style and make it look natural in your own hands and come up with your own patter. I was at a magic club meeting not so long ago and this new kid comes up to me and does a few tricks. He actually did them really well, but when he performed his accent changed and he sounded just like Micheal Ammar. I said "you learn that from easy to master card tricks?" and he said "yeah how did you guess?"

it's ok to fool people?

What the fuck is this question? If you're not fooling people you're not doing magic, either that or you've learnt a load of tricks by Mike Maxwell.

is cold reading ethical?

No but it's profitable.

how do I manage hecklers?

Most hecklers aren't professional and don't require management or agents. But if you are going to manage them, make sure you have them sign an iron clad contract. I doubt there's any money in it though, most you'll be on is 15% and hecklers don't generally get paid. 15% of nothing is nothing.

Is it ok to steal an effect I've watched?

Yes. If you work out a method - go for it. But don't steal someone else's routine or patter.

What is misdirection?

If you don't know this - get off the magic forums. Go fucking learn something about magic and then come back.

What is magic?

See 'what is misdirection'.

I'm starting to learn card magic, what should I read?


It's ok to download from emule the latest DVD and books?

Is it ok to walk into your local magic shop and steal whatever you want? Is it OK to steal a car? Is it ok to steal anything?

Who invented collectors, Roy Walton or Marlo?

Roy Walton.

What do I do if someone ask me how did I do it?

Say 'very well' haaaa haaaa haaaaaaaa. Ohhh that line is so fucking hilarious.

How do I approach a table?

I usually find walking works quite well. If you run towards it you could trip and knock shit flying everywhere and that isn't very professional.

Can we learn magic from internet? (meaning sites, forums, not downloading videos, duh).

Not if the only forum you use is the cafe. Although you can figure out some methods if you can br*ak the*r spec*al cod* where they put st**s in words.

How do you define exposure?

Flopping your cock out in front of your audience and saying "How's that for a magic wand".

Who is right: The Magic Cafe, or the blog people?



P.S. I've left a couple off his list as they need more in depth answers!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Steve Fearson.

Steve Fearson used to put out really clever stuff, he was highly respected and upstanding.

Then he got a computer.


MagicWhack tackles it #2

Thomas Wayne wrote;

Jonathan Townsend claims he invented Three Fly and also feels he has proprietary claim over any version of "Coins Across" that has one or more phase(s) involving a visual or fingertips display. Of course he wouldn’t even be making this claim is Chris Kenner hadn’t credited him as “inspiration” lo these many years ago…Most guys familiar with the actual history have dismissed this BS long ago, but the "debate" remains active because anytime virtually any version of 3Fly is mentioned Townsend jumps in with crap about being the "original inventor".

Magic Whack, please settle this for us.

Thomas Wayne

Glad to help. And it's easy.

1) JT didn't publish anything on this - he can't claim it. If you want credit for something, be the first to publish it somewhere. End of story.

2) All versions of 3-fly suck anyway.

3) Kenner may have been inspired by JT. There's a big difference between inventing something and inspiring someone else to invent something. I have a non-magic friend who often inspires me. He'll say 'hey that be really good if...', I'll say 'ok' and work on it. Should I credit him with anything? And did he INVENT anything? I don't think so.

I suggest that everytime that freak posts claiming originality that someone replies right away and tells him that. Maybe he'll give up eventually.


Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Black tiger decks.

On the cafe they are still debating how good or bad 'black tiger' decks are. I think it's time to end the debate. Here is the answer:

Black tiger decks are fucking crap. They are used by jumped up little shits whose magic is so piss poor that they have to use an interesting looking deck to give the audience something worth looking at. Most of them are going to have you take a card then toss them about and juggle them like an epilectic kid at a disco when they turn the strobes on, and if you're lucky at the end they'll spin your card out the deck and do a ninja pose.

If your magic is so piss poor that you have to rely on black decks to give your spectators a focal point of interest then maybe you should get a new hobby.


P.S. If you know of any other 'age old' debates that keep coming up over and over and over and fucking over - email me - I'll settle them too.

Why do magicians like Eugene Burger?

I just saw some video footage of Eugene Burger. Is that guy appauling or what? He does this sponge ball trick and after some well worn gags involving a squeaker he does the normal sponge ball crap and then says "I hide them in my beard haaaahaaaa". As he says that he reaches behind his beard and comes out with a ball that was previously in finger palm. Why fucking bother? He doesn't need to palm it in - he could really hide the balls in his beard.

He always goes for simple methods, which is fair enough, but taking a simple trick and telling some bullshit story, throwing flash paper about, stroking his beard and looking wierd doesn't make for good entertainment.

I just don't get what the attraction is for magicians. He's just a big guy with a beard who does mediocre magic. His books are no better, in fact 'books' in plural is a bit of a stretch, lets be real, he's published the same material at least three times over - a load of terrible theory.

I wouldn't have so much of an issue if he was just a performer, but he lectures to magicians, has DVD's out, etc.

Maybe I am missing something? Is it only me who doesn't see what he brings to the magical art?


Friday, April 15, 2005

New from R Paul Wilson

Order Now! Leather Wallet by R Paul Wilson.
Just imagine what is possible with R Paul Wilsons new 'Leather Wallet'.

You're out for dinner, the check comes. Without any false moves you are able to take out your wallet and show it contains enough cash to pay for your meal. And if you're short, just reach into the credit card section and stun your waitress by handing her your American Express card!

You go to a club and you get asked for ID.. no problem - pull out the R Paul Wilson leather wallet, open the drivers license section and prove your age. It's that easy!

But that's not all. You are able to show that the zipper section is empty one moment and then thanks to the craftsmanship of Joe Porper you can magically cause not one, but TWO cigarette papers to appear.

Need a postage stamp? No sweat - there's a special compartment for those too!

You will wonder how you ever came to buy this.

A Fuckem-Over exclusive. $699 + shipping.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

I am quitting magic

I want to quit magic.

I was talking to someone about a booking and they mentioned this loser because they were concerned my act might be something similar.

It's so depressing that magicians get grouped together so that once someone has seen a fat fucker horsing around with colored cardboard boxes, gayly colored pieces of wood and silk scarves they assume other magicians are going to be as lame.

Check out some of the pictures this ass uses as 'marketing material' on his site. The one of the kids holding the silks is incredible. Not one of those little shits looks like they're having a good time. In fact it looks like old Marty Kopoff has handed them a silk each and told them that their mom's just been killed in a car wreck.

Look on the bright side kids - at least she went quickly, you've all gotta endure the fat prick show.

The other photo is of Marty Kopalot showing off a mechanical rabbit. This leaves his right arm free to go down his pants and spank the monkey - thus the look on his face.


Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Do we need more card tricks?

I expect you've seen the hoooooharrrrr that was caused on Genii forum when Pete Biro said "do we really need more card tricks" in response to a question about the new John Bannon book.

I think the bigger question is this:

Did we need another ring flight? Especially an overpriced model like this.

And did we have to have another linking key?

Maybe Pete Biro would be happier if people quit putting out new and original card magic and just stole other peoples routines and stuck them on a DVD called "In the Trenches by Paul Green".

Or maybe it would be better if someone with a hair cut like Ronald McDonald took a load of other peoples material and made some minor changes to some of it and then got L&L to record a four volume DVD set? They could call it "On the Loose". And to make the material look better they could get that monkey boy John pumped up on puff and coke so he leaps about and claps at the end of every trick (and often during them and in all the wrong places) and shove a token black guy in the audience whose amazed at everything no matter how bad it is? I bet there's some money in that.


Monday, April 11, 2005

Hocus Pocus have some good stuff for a change

OK, I've ripped into a few 'Hocus Pocus' exclusives, so it's good to see some good products on their site for a change, even if they're not exclusive items.

Anything by Jack Dean is usually well thought out, clever and workable and they have a lot of the range.

On the downside they also are stocking D'lite flight. Is it just me or is this one of the worst sounding effects ever? It's bad enough that people think light up thumb tips are in some way magic, but to now make one that can float provided its a dark room is even less clever.

Turn out the lights... ohh look. You might as well just wave a flashlight about and shout "Ohh I am magic".


P.S. Apologies for the lack of posts the last week. It's due to two things. 1) Blogger has been down A LOT. 2) I've had a hell of a lot of bookings so I been too busy and not at home much. This week is almost as bad, but I'll find time to give you all your 'whack fix'.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Wallet that bends a coin.

Holy Mary mother of Jeeeeeeezuuuus!

Now you can actually OWN a wallet that can bend a coin. And it's only $700.

What a steal. Enough said.


Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Magic Whack Teach-In #1

Hello Whack readers,

I've decided to do something constructive for the world of magic and give you some free magic tips. In this, my first 'Teach-in' I'm going to show you how to create bizzarre magic effects.

Creating your own bizzarre magic isn't as hard as you may have imagined.

1) Pick a trick out of Magic for Dummies or any basic book. Let's take for example the bouncing bread roll trick.

2) Make up a spooky story. If you can't make one up then go to the library and get a book that has some in. It needs to be quite a long story, at least 10 - 15 minutes. Let's say it's going to be one about a spirit that possesses someone for a bit of a laugh.

3) Buy some flash paper.

Now simply tell the story, be as mono-tone as you like, bizzarre performers are usually dull fuckers. After spending 10 minutes on the story, light some flash paper, make an 'oooohhhhhhhhhhh' noise and bounce the bread roll and say "see even the bread is possessed".

It also helps if you grow a really stupid looking beard.


Big personality

I was reading some comments on the Magic Crape about a trick called 'Tag' by Chastain Chriswell. By all accounts it's a good trick, one of the other bloggers gave it a shout out on the basis that it's good.

While checking it out I ended up on the originators web site.

I know nothing about the trick, but as I checked out his site I figured he must be a damn good performer with a great personality. How do I know? Well anyone who can dress in a suit like this must have some way of over-coming the laughs and abuse...

That pattern might be alright on a set of curtains, but as a suit for a fat dude it sucks. I seen golfers with plainer pants. He's got to have extreme confidence, or be a doughnut stabber.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Cloth Bag rip-off

Get these shit drawstring bags for $197. What a god damn bargain.

Ok, basically these are bags that let you do a psychometry routine. You can read about them here.

I know a lot of spazzo's say that if you spend good money you get good quality or a great trick or whatever. But almost $200 for five cloth bags is taking the fucking piss.

I thought Lee Earle (click that Lee Earle link - it's worth it) was taking the piss when his 'No Brainer Bags' were available, but they were a bargain at $60 compared to these, although the ones Lee Earle sold did look like they were made out the material left over from a clowns underpants.

Psuedo Psychometry is one of the greatest one-man psychic effects ever conceived. Our version is based on the Annemann original, but with the modern working professional in mind. Imagine, you hand out five identical jewelry bags to different members of the audience; each person places a personal object in their bag and closes the bag. A member of the audience mixes up all
the bags; as each bag is handed to you, you successfully describe and locate the owner of the property inside. Add some cold reading and you have a miracle.

I don't disagree that it's a great routine, but if you read some Annemann or Milborne Christopher, you'll soon see the original psychometry routines used five marked manilla envelopes and I think they appear more innocent and 'everyday' than five stupid cloth bags. And a few envelopes is going to set you back a few cents at most.

Of course for $197 you do get 'the secret'. But I suspect its just something obvious like the ones Lee Earle put out where the lining of each was a different color.

I don't care how well made they are, they're not worth $197.